Today I lost a great friend R. Max Torres. This man had such an amazing impact and presence. I have been in and out of tears all day. He was a master “urban youth specialist”. It was an honor to have known him. I am somewhat without words. If I have learned anything from this loss it is that Max knew how to live each day to the fullest. He died suddenly in a motorcycle accident. From my understanding a van hit him by not paying attention. Please check your blind spots before changing lanes. I am at loss but know that I learned so much from this man. You can check out his blog at www.rmaxtorres.com

It did not sink in until yesterday that Barack Obama will now be our new president. I must say they I have never felt more activated in a Presidential election. When I returned to work on Wednesday many co-workers came up to me and said they where thinking of me as the entire process unfolded. I even received a voicemail from a superior Wednesday morning letting me know that he chooses to not confirm his political affiliation at work but wanted to let me know that he was excited about the years ahead. I did not realize that I was known at work as a political person. I often engage in great conversations with like minded colleagues, but I was a person that had an Obama bummer sticker on my car almost 2 years ago.

I was most inspired by Obama because of his years in community organization. This is the career path that I have chosen. I never got caught in all the so called negative affiliations that came to light through out the elections. (eg. William Ayers, Rev. Wright, ACORN) I must say of these examples Rev. Wright was the one that most struck a cord with me, but I would never want to be held accountable for the words of another person. I also see that when a person works in community organization and development they will have many interactions with various people from various cultures. I have worked in two very different inner-city communities in the city of Houston. The current neighborhood where I work is most populated by people from middle eastern countries. I often visit their great businesses and enjoy the great food in the restaurants. I feel enlightened each time I discover a new food or great establishment. I even bring my friends to the neighborhood on the weekends to share these amazing cultural experiences. The business owners and community members often remember me and greet me with a great smile and send me in farewell with a handshake and thank you. From my lenses this is the true America. Some people are caught up in affiliations and color of skin and fail to realize that there are many people in America of various colors and cultures. I encourage them to open their minds and set aside their differences and exchange at the human level. This also makes me think that if I were to run for president, would my current interactions be mistaken as “palling around with terrorist”.
When instead the kid that I spend my thirty minute lunch break with each day teaches me small talk in arabic because I want to learn a misunderstood language. The current reality is that this student is a legal immigrant that has been lucky enough to escape war. He shares scars and memories that most legal Americans will never understand, and wants to join the US military to help translate for our country. He is also a very devote Muslim that practices Ramadan with great disciple. I remember being on a field trip with the student and showed concern when he chose not to eat lunch. He quietly let me know that he was fasting. I have never been able to keep my fast during Lent, so the discipline he represented created a great admiration.

Tonight at dinner over Vietnamese Pho Soup my thoughts give a new hope. I hope that 30 years after we end the war in Iraq I can have dinner in a part of town that offers many Iraqi restaurants. I hope to not think twice about the owners and will enjoy the great food they have to offer anyone willing to eat at their establishment. As I looked around the Vietnamese restaurant 30 years after the Vietnam war I notice a table of white men, an african american cop eating by himself, a hispanic family, asian families, and me with my friend Charles. Knowing that we have came this far in thirty years gives me Hope.

On Tuesday night I danced in the streets and shouted YES WE DID…Today I want to shout YES WE WILL….I am hopeful that America is in a new season…I encourage everyone to stand up and be an active person in the progress that lays ahead.

Awesome observation…I may post this on my blog…Great words….I have had a similar experience…As you know in my world I am often the token white guy…One time I had a group of students calling me out and judging me before because I was white…In front of them I had to look at my skin to remind myself that I was white…Even though I do not live up to the stereotypes that limit people…I like the idea of color swatching my skin…I may be sunset peach or non-fire roasted wheat…maybe even off yellow…I hate being refer too as white…I am even jealous and wish that I were more interesting and more a color…that seems more fun…or I guess you could say Organic.

la Paz,
Sam

—–Original Message—–
From: Gracey Malacara
To: pamelapaez@yahoo.com; Sam
Sent: Wed, 1 Oct 2008 10:42 am
Subject: In my head

There comes a time in a person’s life when they are forced out of the comfortable world that demands them. Many ordinary people lead lives that are scheduled at clockwork They have a good judgment at what the days, weeks, and months have in store for them. It seems that this is the life that I have been leading for the past several years. I have been working at least 6 days a week to keep my head above water and leaving little time for spontaneity. I must say I love the life and career that I have. It keeps me grounded and allows me that have an amazing opportunity to help others and reap the results of having a positive impact in the world.
It is interesting that in a sudden disaster and flood the ground forces me to swim to keep my head above water. My comfortable clockwork world is now a race against time. My common surroundings have been replaced with blank walls. People around me are carrying deep exhaustion. People want to continue to dump their problems on me and seek advise, but I seek an advisor. When a disaster strikes the streets and rivers overflow pushing out anything that is willing to stand in the way. Weeks later the flowers bloom, the grass is green and the birds sing a new song. This is where my spirit longs in the future of growth and new strength. I feel that when a disaster flows it creates a path for new life, and prosperity. When the earth cracks the water can filling the gaps. Then new life can manifest into a beautiful pond or natural spring.
In my feelings of displacement I turn to God as the advisor. I seek a heart filled with faith that can flow with the impact of a storm of a devastating magnitude. I know that answers will come, thoughts will manifest themselves, nature will win, and I will prevail….

Can i look past the cliche
In every moment?
Can i learn to be amazed by You?
Can i find a simple way to praise you,
Even if it’s already used?

Can I put my pride aside
And learn to sing in time
With someone elses praises(phrases)?

I love You,
I love You,
I love You,
Nothin’ new

Can i accept that in a world of changes
You’re not impressed with something new?
If i don’t understand the language
Of a heart that’s after You? (Sanctus Real)

From my previous post, you can see that I have been spinning out of balance. Sometimes I think I bring it on to myself. I get caught up in all the chaos and long for the time that I can just drift. Today was great. I went down to St. Timothy’s and then decided to drop in on my parents for lunch. My sister and her family were staying the extended weekend with my parents so I knew that 12:30 at my mother’s dinner table there would be free food and lots of love.

One of the great things about being Episcopalian is that we start church at 10 am and end at 11:30 so I knew that I could make it home (parents house) by noon. On my way into the neighborhood I noticed my mom’s car in the parking lot of at the corner store with both doors open. I pulled up next to her and she was feeding my 5 month old niece Emma Cait a bottle and my 2 year old niece Maddie was in the other car seat enjoying a loli-pop. I pulled up and said what are you doing…My mom was surprised and said to the girls “look its your uncle sam bones” (random name that only the family has the right to) I questioned my mom on why she was feeding a baby at the corner store and she stated she could not stand to hear a baby cry and noticed the she was not given a bottle in the church nursery…I did not speak any further, I just know that she was in the miracle grandmom mode so I continued home. When I pulled up my dad was out in the yard with my brother in law and my sister was still asleep. It was great to make a surprise visit.

Food taste so much better from home. Dinner at your mother’s table is priceless. I hope to never take this for granted. Sometimes I feel like the luckiest man on the earth. I returned to the church for an evening of youth ministry and knew that I was where God wanted me to be…Thank God for Labor day…No Work…I want to make it a day of rest….

What can i do with my obsession
With the things i cannot see
Is there madness in my being
Is it the wind that moves the trees?
Sometimes You’re further than the moon
Sometimes You’re closer than my skin
And You surround me like a winter fog
You’ve come and burned me with a kiss

And my heart burns for You
And my heart burns…for You

And i’m so filthy with my sin
i carry pride like a disease
You know i’m stubborn, Lord, and i’m longing to be close
You burn me deeper than i know
And i feel lonely without hope
And i feel desperate without vision
You wrap around me like a winter coat
You come and free me like a bird

my love burns for You
and my heart feels for You
my life good for You
all i have burns for you you
burns, burns, oh la la la la la la
my love burns for You
and my heart burns for You
you for you for you
and my heart burns for You
my love burns
my heart feel
my life good
all i have for you
my love burns
my heart feel
my life good
all i have for you

David Crowder- Obsession

Life has an interesting way of not letting us see past the present. Just when I feel like I have all of my ducks in row and that my life is in line I have something that sends me spinning out of balance. I know that this coming year is going to be a challenge, but I am willing to press forward and meet all the expectations at hand.

I guess that one of the best parts of life is not knowing all of the answers. I guess that uncertainty keeps us on guard so that we can continue to be on point for what’s at hand.

Today was the official end of my summer Vacation. I get a 3 week break from school and give up one of my weeks for a mission trip. This year our mission trip to Boston was phenomenal. It was as though the universe aligned to allow this meaningful experience to take place. This mission trip took about a year of planning and fundraising to make it happen. It was great to see lives impacted and the joy of spontaneous energy exerted from our youth and the kids that they served.

Boston is an amazing city with many luxuries, but our days were packed with outreach and service. We had some time to enjoy the city, but 9-10 hours of our day we worked and served in ministry. I also have decided that I want to continue God’s Journey in ministry at St. Timothy’s. I know that this will mean a year of challenges and high demands, but I know that with God’s amazing Spirit and the awesome support systems I have in place amazing things will happen.

I look forward to continuing to share my life and Spiritual Journey here so Stay tuned….

This week I have been on a Mission Trip in Boston with the youth from St. Timothy’s Episcopal Church. It week has been amazing. We have been working in Cambridge in the mornings at a food pantry, landscaping at St. James Cambridge, and helping with a restoration project on the beautiful building of St. James. We have been spending our evenings working at a Vacation Bible School at an Inner City Church. This have a great experience for the youth. I has been awesome to see them serve at such a divine level. In our spare time we have time to see a few Boston Landmarks. We took the group on the Boston Duck tours which I highly recommend if you have a chance to visit this city. I hope to have more time to Blog about this experience once I return to Houston. As for now I need to wake the kiddos and get them ready for another day of work. Stay tuned for more updated on my journey to the next level……..